Is there only one way to be a man? Rethinking masculinity in the age of gender fluidity
How to be a “real man”: Shake hands. Bump shoulders. Gimme five. Up high. Down low. Bulk up. Try out. Make gains. Make the team. Pump iron. Don’t iron that. Talk hockey. Talk a lot. Not about feelings. Get angry. Put them in their place. Don’t get emotional. Don’t do drama. Wear black. Wear blue. Not light blue. Explain things. Keep it straight. Be a man. Don’t be a girl. Got it?
What are we to make of the long list of things our society says “real men” are supposed to do? We might prefer to think such a stereotypical view of masculinity is outdated, but rewriting the “real man” list remains a high-priority item, according to Dr. Michael Kehler, PhD, of the University of Calgary.
Kehler is a Werklund School of Education research professor, specializing in masculinity studies. His research focuses on how boys and men learn what it means to be a man, particularly as they navigate the fraught spaces of schools — from classrooms to locker rooms. His research questions traditional views of masculinity, the power and privilege of being a “real man,” and the gender biases in education systems.
Gender bias 101
Unfortunately, school systems often perpetuate gender stereotypes. “There’s always been a perception that boys are reluctant to buy into education because the classroom is feminized,” says Kehler. Schools often have more female teachers than male, and some educators feel that girls are more passive learners than boys. “Some teachers continue to draw on gender biases when they teach,” says Kehler. “They still think there are ‘girl books’ and ‘boy books.’”
These are aspects of masculinity that are deeply embedded in our culture.
If the education system harbours gender biases, it’s not surprising; gender stereotypes like the “real men” list above linger in many aspects of our culture. “There are traditional ways that boys and men express themselves, from shaking hands to wearing dark colours,” says Kehler. “These are aspects of masculinity that are deeply embedded in our culture. It’s how you show you belong to the boys’ club.”